(Do Not) Find Yourself a Good Job… What kind of advice children who have happy and successful parents get?
It’s Wednesday afternoon and I walk my eight years old daughter to a dancing club. We arrive twenty minutes early so we go to visit the canteen, which has been there since my childhood and it seems like nothing has changed there for the last 20 years.
Even the yellow lemonades in the glass bottles are still there in the same place. As we are waiting to pay, Vitoria asks me,” Mum, I am thinking what if I wasn’t to become either a dolphin trainer or a vet”.
It surprised me for a while. She wanted to become a dolphin trainer since she was five when she saw a live dolphin show for the first time.
Growing up the well-known friend “Common sense” started to attack her childhood dreams; so about one year ago she turned up and said she needed to become a vet first in order to be able to train dolphins. I am not very sure whether our recent veterinary ambulance visit supported this decision. :D
She continues,” I am thinking of becoming a teacher”. It doesn’t surprise me. When I was about the same age I thought of becoming a teacher for a short period of time as well.
I thought it was great because you have two months of holiday in the summer and you go home at the same time as kids about 1-2 p.m. every day. At the beginning of 90’s, it seemed like the best way to get at least a little bit of freedom. Luckily the times have changed….
“A lot more secure employment”
Before I manage to open my mouth and react, the shopping assistant in the cantine is quicker than I and tells my daughter, while giving us our snack, “Become a teacher, it’s much more secure employment; you will always get a job and you are guaranteed regular money.”
I stay stunned thinking how to react… Victoria alternately looks at me and the woman and waits for me to say something because she senses I have a different opinion. The shop assistant leaves to make herself a cup of coffee smiling and nodding what a good advice she gave my daughter….
We sit down to eat a snack before her ballet class. Even though my every single word sharply resonates in the silence of the large school corridor, I can’t help but say it,
“Vicky, chose a job you will enjoy, which will make you happy and give you the freedom to live a life you desire. So you don’t have to get up every day, go somewhere to work. Find something that will allow you to enjoy your life.”
A woman by the next table shaking her head in disagreement fixed her eyes to the table. I know, it’s not exactly the typical advice that a mother gives to an eight years old child. But it’s an advice of a successful and rich mom living the life of her dreams to her daughter, who hopefully chooses a path that will make her happy one day.
And my message to all parents or parents to be is:
- Let's not show our children the world of security, barriers and closed system where they must listen to someone and do things that they are supposed to do. But rather give our children their wings and teach them to fly, even if it means they will fall and hit the ground few times.
- Let's not show our children a life in the system where the time is exchanged for money and then the money is spent on things that accumulate in the cabinet or a wardrobe only to make an impression on others. Rather, show them how to live to the fullest, rejoice in the trifles and do the kind of work that would bring them fulfillment, happiness, and financial freedom.
- Let's not teach our children that there are borders or limitations. Rather, tell them that everything is possible and they can do whatever they think of.
- Let's not teach our children that they are not allowed to talk about things that other people don't agree with. Don't teach them they have to have the same opinion as everybody in order to people like them. But instead, show them that if they express their own opinion, even a very different one, there may be many people who will disagree. But ensure that they understand they will also find many friends who will relate and who they will be happy with.
- And the last point: Let's show our children the direction, but don't force them to go our way. They will start their own dream journey one day. We can only give them the valuable advice how to build a boat to get to their own beaches and love them, wherever they decide to go.
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