And why the hell not?

Each day that passes is the same as every other. When somebody asks you what things bring you joy, you don’t really know.

Duties, duties, duties…

The last time you felt joyful was in the primary school when you were running outside in the woods instead of doing homework. There were times that you got bruised and got slapped because you had come in 20 minutes late.

And since then you are a good girl/good boy…

“I will do it when…”

“Well, but first I have to do…”

That’s how the biggest killers of your ideas, dreams, and relationships start.

You are waiting for the right moment, for the right occasion, for the train that will never come… You are putting off decisions, words, and emotions – forever.  The right moment will come though – won’t it?

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t only mean the big things and big decisions like quitting the job you don’t enjoy. Or finally having a baby, or even starting your dream business while being on maternity leave. Wating for the right occasion and putting things off until “one day” when everything falls into place and the timing is right.

A couple of examples…

You are driving the car home from work and you have a thought to stop somewhere for a coffee, alone… Nonsense! The dinner is not ready yet and nobody else will do the ironing. The thought flies away as quickly as it arrived. It only cut your wings by another small bit and you fly less and less each day.

You are sitting and watching TV in the evening and you secretly look at your husband, who is concentrating on working on his laptop. You get an idea to place the laptop aside, get on the top of him and let the passion and joy come out… Nonsense!

He would get angry – he is doing something important. And in 10 seconds the thought is gone, your favorite soap is on and the marriage passion goes by the wayside again.

It’s difficult to do things RIGHT NOW

It means to go and take a risk immediately, that it possibly won’t work out, that we say something wrong, that the circumstances won’t be perfect, or the star constellations won’t be good. Or we worry we will get embarrassed, we get into situations we can’t orientate in and we will spoil something.

With every new idea the deeply hidden patterns get triggered: Don’t risk or you die!

Don’t say that you love. Don’t say you are angry. Don’t be spontaneous. Don’t be naughty. Don’t step into that puddle. Don’t step out of the known.

Don’t risk or you die!

And so we put off all our spontaneous ideas, thoughts and emotions whilst the life passes by like a sand in an hourglass. One NOW behind another NOW and we are waiting for the perfect sand grain, that will never appear.

We are good girls and boys and we hardly ever do this:

Life is now

  • Take a risk - here and now - and do things you want to do.
  • Risk it won't work out. Risk that it will work out.  
  • Here and now say words you want to say, despite your fear you will be considered as weird.
  • Here and now tell people around you what you feel, even if you are scared, how they will react.
  • Go for it, even though nobody can guarantee whether it will be worth it.

Here and now say YES to your ideas. Because the sand grains fall inexorably second by second and one day the last one will fall down and there will be no other “one day.” If you continue to postpone your ideas, words, and feelings, the game will be over. And only the pity will be left.

LIVE. RISK. Do things now, at the moment when you think of them. :)

It’s easier said than done, isn’t it?

I know. I fight it myself several times a day and always when I put an idea off I pause again and again and say to myself, “And why, the hell, not?” And I go and do it.

And why the hell not? Because I am a good girl? Because the dinner isn’t ready, or the blog post isn’t finished – are these more important than my feelings? Because we “don’t” do this? Because I don’t feel confident? Because I am not GOOD ENOUGH and won’t manage? Because my feelings are too intense to talk about them right here and now?

Why the hell not? What is going to happen if I do it?

Sometimes I just do it and the Earth continues spinning around. Sometimes my realized ideas or words cause a bigger or a smaller earthquake. Sometimes it’s great. Sometimes I feel like banging my head against a wall and telling myself what a lecture I got.

It’s not always an easy go. But you know what? I feel alive thanks to those things. And that counts. :)

So if you sometimes feel like your life is passing by and you don’t really know if you are alive, start to focus your attention on how you feel and what you want.

And when you get those intrusive thoughts that will whisper to you to do something unexpected, spontaneous, different, shout out loud:

And why the hell not!?

And enjoy the ride. ;)

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Do you wish to live a life you don\'t need a vacation from?

A life, where you have the freedom to live freely, happily and to the fullest? 

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Welcome to my World.....
lives her life to the fullest and makes her dreams come true, even the craziest ones, every day. A few years ago, she decided she didn't want the days to pass by in vain like sand in an hourglass. She is a woman, a mother of two daughters and one son, a partner of a great man, online marketing expert and a successful entrepreneur.

Stania is an author of a Beach Business book, Beach Business online course and an eBook From a Stressed Out Mother to a Beach Entrepreneur. She inspires people how to live freely, happily and to the fullest. Teaches them how to use the potential of the internet and online marketing, so that they can start a journey of their dreams and run their business from a beach.

Read more about Stania

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